Let's get personal...How to keep your socks from getting lost in the wash!

Okay, I don't really have a secret.  I mean, yes, it's true! I've never lost a sock in the washer/dryer!  But if you ask, How?  I have no clue. :)  I just wanted to brag real quick about that neat fact of my life!  Just don't lose 'em! ;)
Okay, but in all seriousness.  That's not the point of my post today.

If you follow my life at all, you've noticed I've traveled to a few places in the past couple of months...
Iceland...England...Sweden...Finland...Norway...Czech Republic...Switzerland...Ireland...DC...just to name a few...

Peak in Switzerland

Norway sunset over the forest and fjords ♥

 Karlstejn Castle in Czech Republic

 The most swiss picture ever. ♥ Alps. Green Pastures. Cow.

They were all incredible and absolutely wonderful places and I had grand experiences and met some great new friends!  But my life isn't always an adventure like that!  I do have a normal average Joe Jessica life ;)
I wake up, work out (when motivated enough to do so), go to work (which consists now of taking care of my grandma!  Cooking, cleaning, organizing...all that jazz), and study in my free time (not school stuff anymore, but scriptures and languages!).
I have my up days and my low days.  I experience discouragement, loneliness, insecurity, trials, struggles, joy and peace (of course not all at the same time...).

Hiking alone for miles and miles on end while in Europe gave me quite a bit of time to think.  About who I am.
We all put on masks.  There are few people in my life who actually have seen ME.  I am usually having an internal struggle that I mask so that I will be seen as "doing good".  I think we all do it.  But why??
I know, for me, I don't like to be seen crying or looking sad.  I don't like feeling vulnerable.  I don't want to feel like a burden to someone else.  I want people to see me as a happy and positive person.  Not as a "Negative Nellie".
I busy myself, put on a mask and then "everything is fine".  I get into a mindset of thinking "No one will know"...

No one will know that I was crying just minutes before this picture was taken because of how alone I was feeling at that moment, even though I was surrounded by others.

No one will know that I was going through an extremely difficult time and feeling miserable as my boyfriend had just broken up with me about a week before this picture was taken.

No one will know when they asked where I had been and I replied, "Oh, just at the temple, doing some pondering." when I really was there to cry for a long time, asking my Heavenly Father, "Why?".

No one will know, standing in the background, as sister after sister, brother after brother, and friend after friend gets married that, as truly happy as I am for them, I am frustrated and broken, desperately wishing with all my freaking heart that I could start a family too.  My biggest desire.

Can you see it?  Can you see the struggle one is going through in their eyes when they say "I'm good!" and smile, but as they turn away that smile fades?

Do we realize that when we catch them in their "pondering" moments, it really could be moments of them thinking "do I have the strength to keep pressing forward?"

Maybe that's why I love being with kids so much.  They are innocent and full of pure love!  I just have to play with them and they'll like me!  I don't have to think of things to say to make me sound more likeable.  I don't have to act a certain way.  I don't get hurt by them.  I don't feel unwanted.

But then you get those individuals who see you behind the mask.  They recognize the struggling.  They hear that small crack in your happy voice.  They see that smile fade.  And they prove to you that they care and will listen - it's no empty words of "I'm here for you".  They mean it and show it from the little things they do.  They become your support.  You know you don't have to put up a mask for them.  You can trust them with how you truly feel.

I am grateful for those people in my life who know me for who I am behind my mask.  They know I'm imperfect and they still love me.  They encourage and support me through my hard days.  They listen to me cry and talk about how insecure, discouraged, or lonely I may be feeling.  They always do a hecka good job at lifting my spirits.  Just by talking with me and being there for me.

I hope I can be that for others as well.  I want to be more aware.  I want to be the kind of person that leaves someone feeling better than when I found them.  Like my best friend and family are for me ♥